Harley
#1
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one
day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and
asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside
and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the
rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house,
Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family
before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first
person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack
in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the
kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the
corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure
enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take
advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches
over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up,
grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her
right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her
dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down,
but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body,"
he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way
with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is
furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a
loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls
the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats
enough, I'll do the f.....g dishes!"
day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and
asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside
and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the
rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house,
Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family
before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first
person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack
in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the
kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the
corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure
enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take
advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches
over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up,
grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her
right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her
dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down,
but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body,"
he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way
with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is
furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a
loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls
the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats
enough, I'll do the f.....g dishes!"
#5
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Location: Dublin OH
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My Ride: Arrived 3 June 2005: 2005 545i - Orient Blue, Black interior, Sport, Steptronic, Cold Weather, NAV, Sirius, Logic7, Comfort Seats, Sunshades. What a glorious ride!
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My wife LOVES this joke! (Yes, I'm a lucky man!)
#6
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
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Originally Posted by MaxBuck' date='Jun 10 2005, 12:35 AM
My wife LOVES this joke!? (Yes, I'm a lucky man!)
[snapback]138079[/snapback]
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
#7
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Location: Netherlands
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My Ride: 2011 520dA coming up.
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
Originally Posted by MaxBuck' date='Jun 10 2005, 01:35 AM
My wife LOVES this joke!? (Yes, I'm a lucky man!)
[snapback]138079[/snapback]
![Devil](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/devil.gif)
#8
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dublin OH
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My Ride: Arrived 3 June 2005: 2005 545i - Orient Blue, Black interior, Sport, Steptronic, Cold Weather, NAV, Sirius, Logic7, Comfort Seats, Sunshades. What a glorious ride!
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
Originally Posted by garehaan' date='Jun 10 2005, 07:56 AM
[quote name='MaxBuck' date='Jun 10 2005, 01:35 AM']My wife LOVES this joke!? (Yes, I'm a lucky man!)
[snapback]138079[/snapback]
![Devil](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/devil.gif)
[snapback]138186[/snapback]
[/quote]Ouch!
No, we aren't generally forced to resort to that stuff ...
![Smile](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/smile.gif)
#9
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Location: FLA - East Coast, USA
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My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
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I'll tuck this away for when my wife returns from Brasil, she'll get a big laugh out of it
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Devil](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/devil.gif)
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