Golfing hit man...
#13
Contributors
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 1,373
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: Titanium Gray 550i, Cold Weather Package, Premium Sound Package, Sport Package, Shadowline trim, Parking Distance Conrol, Xenon, Adaptive Headlight Control, Navigation System, Satellite
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
Originally Posted by Rudy' post='979866' date='Aug 17 2009, 05:47 PM
Probably a repost but I couldn't find it after a quick search... ![Wink](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/wink.gif)
Golfing Hit Man
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer,
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I
take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the
direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can
see right in the window."
"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.... He's naked too!
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull
the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."
Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off
to teach him a lesson.
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for
a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the husband impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a
grand here"
![Wink](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/wink.gif)
Golfing Hit Man
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer,
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I
take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the
direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can
see right in the window."
"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.... He's naked too!
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull
the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."
Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off
to teach him a lesson.
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for
a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the husband impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a
grand here"
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
My morning was crappy until this!! So, thank you for posting this Rudy! I love this forum!
![Big Grin](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/biggrin.gif)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
#15
Contributors
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: .
Posts: 8,199
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: .
Model Year: .
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
Originally Posted by Frank5er' post='980887' date='Aug 18 2009, 01:19 PM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
My morning was crappy until this!! So, thank you for posting this Rudy! I love this forum!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
My morning was crappy until this!! So, thank you for posting this Rudy! I love this forum!
![Big Grin](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/biggrin.gif)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
#16
Senior Members
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pikes Peak- Colorado
Posts: 801
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: BMW 535xi
Model Year: 2008
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
[quote name='Rudy' date='Aug 17 2009, 04:47 PM' post='979866']
Probably a repost but I couldn't find it after a quick search...![Wink](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/wink.gif)
Golfing Hit Man
+1 I love jokes that contain the element of understatement. Thanks for the laughs!
Probably a repost but I couldn't find it after a quick search...
![Wink](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/wink.gif)
Golfing Hit Man
+1 I love jokes that contain the element of understatement. Thanks for the laughs!
#18
Contributors
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Milky Way, Earth, N. America, CA, San Jose, 95136, Latitude N 37� 16.837, Longitude W 121� 50.461
Posts: 3,561
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: 2004 530i | Sapphire Black | Sport | Premium | NAV | Logic 7 | DPE R07 Variant S Gloss Black with Polished Lip 20x8.5 front 20x10 rear | Falken FK452 tires 245/30/20 front 275/30/20 rear | H&R Coilovers | Smoked Tail Lights | M5 trunk spoiler | AC Schnitzer style roof spoiler | HID 8000K headlights & foglights | 35% tint all around | Sprint Booster | Speed Innovation ECU tuning | M5 trunk finisher | M-Tech body kit | Remus Quad Exhaust | AC Schnitzer style pedals | Euro Stickers | RPi Ram Air Induction | Smoked LED Side Lenses | AC Schnitzer style e-brake handle | AC Schnitzer style shifter | AC Schnitzer style iDrive knob | AC Schnitzer style carbon fiber diffuser | carbon fiber hood/trunk/steering emblems | carbon fiber grilles | carbon fiber door pillars | MTEC v2 Angel Eyes | Hamann style carbon fiber splitter
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
![Tongue](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/tongue.gif)
![Tongue](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/tongue.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
#19
Contributors
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: South Bay, CA
Posts: 957
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: My 5 and I met on Father's Day 2008 and have been together ever since. 20" Wheels (Make TBD), premium package, sport package, AiB V3 upgrade and a Passport Escort 8500 Radar Detector.
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
![W00t](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/w00t.gif)
![Twoup](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/twoup.gif)