God and the Biker
02-08-2009, 07:01 PM
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A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach
when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a
booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to
be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to
Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of
the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the
supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the
concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take
a little more time and think of something that could
possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he
said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand
women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's
thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she
cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why
she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can
make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a
booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to
be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to
Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of
the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the
supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the
concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take
a little more time and think of something that could
possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he
said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand
women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's
thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she
cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why
she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can
make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
02-08-2009, 07:04 PM
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My Ride: 2004 530i | Sapphire Black | Sport | Premium | NAV | Logic 7 | DPE R07 Variant S Gloss Black with Polished Lip 20x8.5 front 20x10 rear | Falken FK452 tires 245/30/20 front 275/30/20 rear | H&R Coilovers | Smoked Tail Lights | M5 trunk spoiler | AC Schnitzer style roof spoiler | HID 8000K headlights & foglights | 35% tint all around | Sprint Booster | Speed Innovation ECU tuning | M5 trunk finisher | M-Tech body kit | Remus Quad Exhaust | AC Schnitzer style pedals | Euro Stickers | RPi Ram Air Induction | Smoked LED Side Lenses | AC Schnitzer style e-brake handle | AC Schnitzer style shifter | AC Schnitzer style iDrive knob | AC Schnitzer style carbon fiber diffuser | carbon fiber hood/trunk/steering emblems | carbon fiber grilles | carbon fiber door pillars | MTEC v2 Angel Eyes | Hamann style carbon fiber splitter
hahaha... 
02-08-2009, 07:46 PM
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My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
That's an OLD one!! Still cracks me up though! 
Still cracks me up though!
02-09-2009, 09:00 AM
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My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='788303' date='Feb 8 2009, 10:46 PM
That's an OLD one!! Still cracks me up though!
Still cracks me up though!
02-09-2009, 12:50 PM
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My Ride: 2011, E90 M3 Sedan. Alpine White.Competition package, Keyhole cover, fender reflectors in Alpine white, RPI Exhaust, 19
lol.. truth though.. building the bridge would be easier
02-09-2009, 10:25 PM
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i told this joke at a snob party in whistler canada, everyone just looked at me blank faced
i said "fine fuck you guys the beer sucks in canada anyway" and left
i love this joke
i said "fine fuck you guys the beer sucks in canada anyway" and left
i love this joke
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