funny
01-28-2009, 11:15 AM
#1
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Location: SFV California
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My Ride: 2006 530i Alpine White on Black interior, Sport and Premium Package, Steptronic, Navigation, Xenon Adaptive Headlights, Mtec V2.1 angel eyes,Hoen Fog Lights, Full M-Tech kit, ACS pedals, LED plate lights, CF Steering Wheel badge, CF Titanium trim, OE
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Washing Ironing Food Entertainment'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's confidential!"
6. Anger management?
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush."
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Washing Ironing Food Entertainment'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's confidential!"
6. Anger management?
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush."
01-28-2009, 12:29 PM
#2
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Thousand Oaks, California
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My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
01-28-2009, 12:33 PM
#3
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Milky Way, Earth, N. America, CA, San Jose, 95136, Latitude N 37� 16.837, Longitude W 121� 50.461
Posts: 3,561
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My Ride: 2004 530i | Sapphire Black | Sport | Premium | NAV | Logic 7 | DPE R07 Variant S Gloss Black with Polished Lip 20x8.5 front 20x10 rear | Falken FK452 tires 245/30/20 front 275/30/20 rear | H&R Coilovers | Smoked Tail Lights | M5 trunk spoiler | AC Schnitzer style roof spoiler | HID 8000K headlights & foglights | 35% tint all around | Sprint Booster | Speed Innovation ECU tuning | M5 trunk finisher | M-Tech body kit | Remus Quad Exhaust | AC Schnitzer style pedals | Euro Stickers | RPi Ram Air Induction | Smoked LED Side Lenses | AC Schnitzer style e-brake handle | AC Schnitzer style shifter | AC Schnitzer style iDrive knob | AC Schnitzer style carbon fiber diffuser | carbon fiber hood/trunk/steering emblems | carbon fiber grilles | carbon fiber door pillars | MTEC v2 Angel Eyes | Hamann style carbon fiber splitter
haha... 
I'll have to tell my wifey the meaning of WIFE is "Washing Ironing Food Entertainment".. I'll let you know how it goes..
I'll have to tell my wifey the meaning of WIFE is "Washing Ironing Food Entertainment".. I'll let you know how it goes..
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