Forget the Hoff.
05-05-2007, 04:57 AM
#1
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris? beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris? hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris? beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris? hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
05-05-2007, 08:02 AM
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Speaking of the Hoff, I don't remember seeing any postings about his latest newsworty event...
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2007/05/davi...y_for_help.html
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2007/05/davi...y_for_help.html
05-05-2007, 02:19 PM
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My Ride: E60 2006 525d Steptronic, Carbon Black, M Sport-Package, Style 135M Rims, Beige Interior, Dark Poplar Wood Trim, Comfort Seats, Professional Navigation with BMW Online and BMW Assist, HUD, Logic7, TV, Bluetooth, Speech Control, Active Steering, Adaptive Bi-Xenon, 6-Disc Changer, Heated Seats (front and back), Extended Climate, PDC, Sunroof, Auto-Dim. Int + Folding Exterior Mirrors, Electric Rear- and Side Blinds, Foldable rear seats, Electric Adjustable Steering Wheel
When gaffer death comes to Chuck Norris, he says "Fuck you!" and roundhouse-kicks him 
(I hope the translation from German to English was right
)
(I hope the translation from German to English was right
)
05-05-2007, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by sese' post='421449' date='May 5 2007, 11:19 PM
When gaffer death comes to Chuck Norris, he says "Fuck you!" and roundhouse-kicks him
(I hope the translation from German to English was right )
(I hope the translation from German to English was right
)And I don't think our Chuck would be so polite.
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