A few jokes
09-15-2005, 05:54 PM
#1
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Location: Central Massachusetts
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My Ride: Now Driving a Freakin' Prius!
Was...
2004 545i | SMG | White/Black | Sport | NAV | Logic 7 | PDC | Fold-down Seats | Adaptive Headlights | Cold Weather Pkg | Clear-again Bra | Mud Flaps | Bluetooth | Coat Hangar | Aux Input | All Weather Mats | 18"X8.5" BBS RK w/ Michelin Pilot Alpin's (winter) | New steering rack @ 1.2K & 17K miles| Software V.19.1 | B&B Exhaust (vrrrroooooommm!) <---Click.
A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her
and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me."
She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
__________________________________________________ _
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that
American Indians have the longest penises and Italian men are the best in
bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
"Tonto Tortolini, nice to meet you."
__________________________________________________ ____
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
too?"
goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her
and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me."
She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
__________________________________________________ _
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that
American Indians have the longest penises and Italian men are the best in
bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
"Tonto Tortolini, nice to meet you."
__________________________________________________ ____
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
too?"
09-16-2005, 12:01 AM
#2
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Netherlands
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My Ride: [i][b][u]Since 19 august 2004[/u][/b][/i]: [color=red][b]530i[/b] High Executive[/color], Silvergray with beige interior, Popular wood, Servotronic, Sportssuspension, electric foldable and dimmed mirrors, dimmed interior mirror, pappelmaser braun wood, cupholders, styling 123 18" wheels, Logic 7, Steptronic, alarm class 3, electric sunscreen in the rear and suncreens for sidewindows, Comfort seats, heated seats, Xenon with headlightwashers, Adaptive corner lights ALC, Advanced airconditioning, lightpackage, Nav Pro, 6 cd changer, side airbags rearseats, bluetooth siemens S55, chrome kidneys, gearlever with wood, voice recognition retrofit, front windshield with green band.
Waiting for trunkopener button from Hobi :)
The Tonto Torteline one was the best.. You made my day!!
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