Does anyone have a daughter?
02-03-2006, 01:28 AM
#1
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Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
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My Ride: 520d GT, Blue, Beige Dakota Leather, Pro Sat Nav, Interior Lights Pack, Adaptive Lights, Advanced Aircon
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and
current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______
G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK______________________________________________ ______
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN __________________________________________________ _
7. Number of years your parents have been married____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ Awaterbed? _______
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo_________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean toyou?____________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to
you?
__________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ___________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother andpriest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers
are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is ________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her Is
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause
you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen weaning white ties and carrying violin cases (You might
want to watch your back)
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and
current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______
G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK______________________________________________ ______
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN __________________________________________________ _
7. Number of years your parents have been married____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ Awaterbed? _______
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo_________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean toyou?____________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to
you?
__________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ___________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother andpriest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers
are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is ________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her Is
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause
you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen weaning white ties and carrying violin cases (You might
want to watch your back)
02-03-2006, 05:45 AM
#4
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Colorado, USA
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Originally Posted by GB525dTour' post='233996' date='Feb 3 2006, 03:28 AM
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
02-03-2006, 08:55 AM
#5
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Location: San Francisco Bay area
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My Ride: '05 545i, silver gray, black leather with anthracite maple wood, sport package, premium sound, navigation, cold weather package, electric rear sunshade, folding rear seat, satellite radio prep, PIAA 4150K fogs, red rear reflectors, hardwired Valentine One
02-03-2006, 08:59 AM
#6
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: MIAMI B*CH
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My Ride: MY RIDE is DA real .-) HAMANN 5 aka BLACK MAMBA born on 16/06/2005/delivered on 05/08/2005 as following:
530dA (steptronic), Black II (JET), leather Dakota auburn black, mapple trim, head-up display, dynamic drive, active steering, adaptive xenon headlights (auto levelling) with headlight washers, alarm, comfort seats with massage function, advanced A/C, big compartment armrest, aux-in, MP3, Logic 7, Radio PRO, CD in-dash+cd changer, power rear sunshades, rear airbags, park distance control, auto dimming folding mirrors, smoking package, shiny shadow line (individual), fold down rear seats, ski bag, sport suspension, run flats on �116-style� rims (Good Year NCT5+), cup holders, debadged, fire extinguishers, additional permanent power outlet, BMW coat hanger, trunk release button (installed by Hobi), GPS tracking device and a big thx 2 Iceman.
Mods done:
� Authentic HAMANN FRONT APRON Including ellipsoid fog lights Item-No.: 10 060 110
� Authentic HAMANN REAR SPOILER Item-No.: 10 060 130,
� Authentic HAMANN HAMANN ALUMINIUM PEDALS For cars with manual gearbox Item-No.: 80 099 100 81,00 For cars with automatic transmission Item-No.: 80 099 120
� Authentic HAMANN FOOT REST In aluminium For left-hand drive vehicles Item No. : 80 099 122
� Authentic HAMANN HAND-BRAKE LEVER In aluminium For left- and right-hand drive cars Item No. : 80 099 216
� Authentic HAMANN Idrive of alu (sorry this is the only one in the World) but you can have it in carbon fiber ,
� Authentic HAMANN EXCLUSIVE FLOORMAT SET In black with HAMANN logo in silver For left-hand drive cars Item-No. : 80 060 120 For right-hand drive cars Item-No. : 80 060
� Authentic HAMANN COVER FOR OIL FILLER CAP In aluminium Item-No.: 80 099 117
� Authentic HAMANN SPORT REAR MUFFLER 4 TAILPIPES Sport rear muffler with four round stainless-steel tailpipes ( � 76mm ) Item-No.: 50 060 111
� Authentic HAMANN new add-on for M pack rear with diffusor for quad pipes -AVAILABLE NOW (http://forums.e60.net/index.php?act=ST&f=22&t=30630&st=0#entry332409)
� ///M steering wheel w Pegasus logo (this will be also changed to three spoke sports)
� ///M pack rear
� HAMANN ECU upgrade 265 HP 608 Nm.
most improtant:
�real and working like a charm forumsbuy real LED tails and PIAA 4700k fogs!!! for HAMANN full front apron you need H3
� CustomAngels, Angel Eyes Brighter than stocks 10X, WHITE & (REd for shows).
� Authentic HAMANN LIGHT-ALLOY WHEELS DESIGN EDITION RACE 20"
Ultra-light forged 3-pieced light-alloy wheel, Cross-spoke-design,Spider in black, titanium, screwing,polished flange
DIMENSIONS : 9.0 J x 20 FA Item No.: 91 207 315
10.5 J x 20 only RA Item No.: 91 207 625
Recommended 20" Complete Wheel Set DESIGN EDITION RACE I went with most aggressive Combination A.10 FA 9.0 J x 20 / RA 10.5 J x 20 with tires: FA 245/30 ZR 20 / RA 285/25 ZR 20
� Authentic HAMANN LOWERING KIT 4 progressive sport springs Lowering by approx. 40 mm FA, 20 mm RA Item-No.: 20 060 125
� Authentic HAMANN TIRE - PRESSURE CHECK SENSOR SYSTEM
� Authentic HAMANN SIDE SILLS Item-No.: 10 060 120
� Authentic HAMANN REAL CF ROOF SPOLIER Item-No.: 10 060 235
� Authentic HAMANN AIRBAG SPORT STEERING WHEEL 3-SPOKE Three-spoke design w their SMG paddles (For assembly O.E. airbag in exchange)
� Authentic HAMANN sports mirrors (all functions)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
E60.net Clings
Still to do list;-):
� Our Hobi's camera system from : ww.switchchange.com).
� Individual leather interior (auburn+auburn alcantara)... and drive with sheer drivin' pleasure ... until 2009/2010 F10 comes or E60 possibly a 540d V8 diesel early in 2009 badly juiced!
very good.
02-03-2006, 09:05 AM
#7
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Louisville, CO
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My Ride: '04 545i (10/03)
Sport, 6, bk/bk, Premium Sound, Cold Weather, Active Headlights, Tinted Windows, Clear Bra! Winter wheels 'plastic dipped'
Very useful...I have twins and plan on using this form.
Thanks, as always, for the useful information.
Frank
Thanks, as always, for the useful information.
Frank
02-03-2006, 09:26 AM
#8
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Singapore
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My Ride: 530iA Silver Grey , black interior. Premium Package, Navigation System, Head-up Display, Radio Satellite, Adaptive Xenon Headlights. AC Schnitzer Front Lip, H&R springs, Rear red reflector, All season Floor mat,
Did u really do that !?
02-03-2006, 10:20 AM
#10
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Hong Kong
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My Ride: In a place where the Mercedes density is the highest in the world (no. of MB per square kilometer) I choose a Bimmer, why? because of one thing "The Ultimate Driving Experience"
My Ride:
523i Steptronic, Silver Grey Exterior, Black Interior with Black Dakota Leather and Maple Wood Trim. Chrome Grill, Style 123 rim, Airbags everywhere, PDC, Rain sensor, Auto lights, Moveable front armrest, Advance Climate Control, Glass Sunroof, Auto dimming interior and exterior mirror with foldable functions, Extended Lights package, 6 CD changer in glove box, Power seats with memory, Power adjustable steering wheel, Power rear sunblinds.
Add ons: 123 wheels, chrome grill, K&N Hi flow filter, Eibach Pro Kit, e60.net decal and 24,000km
Past rides:
2001 Nissan Xterra SE
1999 E39 523i
1999 E46 323i
1996 Acura Integra LS
Originally Posted by amigo525' post='234027' date='Feb 3 2006, 09:04 PM
I think he is missing: Do you ride a bimmer?