Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people
04-17-2005, 09:12 PM
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Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
04-18-2005, 12:52 PM
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My Ride: [i][b][u]Since 19 august 2004[/u][/b][/i]: [color=red][b]530i[/b] High Executive[/color], Silvergray with beige interior, Popular wood, Servotronic, Sportssuspension, electric foldable and dimmed mirrors, dimmed interior mirror, pappelmaser braun wood, cupholders, styling 123 18" wheels, Logic 7, Steptronic, alarm class 3, electric sunscreen in the rear and suncreens for sidewindows, Comfort seats, heated seats, Xenon with headlightwashers, Adaptive corner lights ALC, Advanced airconditioning, lightpackage, Nav Pro, 6 cd changer, side airbags rearseats, bluetooth siemens S55, chrome kidneys, gearlever with wood, voice recognition retrofit, front windshield with green band.
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