Anger Management
10-02-2006, 07:29 AM
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I have replaced a well known offensive word with the letter 'c' - i am sure you all know what it means...
This is from an e-mail just recieved!
(BTW - i believe the call waiting is the *69 equivalent for you americans...)
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a c!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'c' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a c!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "c" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,"Hi, this is John Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a c!"
One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first c (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover c, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?" Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. "Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed." "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a c!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**eholes to call. Then one day I came up with an idea. I called c #1.
"Hello?"
"You're a c!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, c," and hung up.
Then I called c #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, c," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll do what?" I said.
"I'll kick your a*se," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, c, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice Street, Ilford .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two cs beating the cr*p out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.
Result....
Now I feel MUCH better.
Take it from me, this anger management really works...!!!
This is from an e-mail just recieved!
(BTW - i believe the call waiting is the *69 equivalent for you americans...)
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a c!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'c' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a c!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "c" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,"Hi, this is John Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a c!"
One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first c (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover c, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?" Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. "Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed." "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a c!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**eholes to call. Then one day I came up with an idea. I called c #1.
"Hello?"
"You're a c!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, c," and hung up.
Then I called c #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, c," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll do what?" I said.
"I'll kick your a*se," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, c, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice Street, Ilford .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two cs beating the cr*p out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.
Result....
Now I feel MUCH better.
Take it from me, this anger management really works...!!!
10-02-2006, 10:01 AM
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10-02-2006, 11:32 AM
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I still fell out of my chair 
10-02-2006, 12:11 PM
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10-02-2006, 09:21 PM
#7
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Bi-Xenon Adaptive Lights, S.A.T, Professional SatNav, Logic7, Elec Memory seats, iPod interface, 19" Alloys WITHOUT RUNFLATS!
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Originally Posted by Iceman' post='340915' date='Oct 2 2006, 07:01 PM
Dammit!
Still funny though!
10-03-2006, 06:27 PM
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My Ride: In a place where the Mercedes density is the highest in the world (no. of MB per square kilometer) I choose a Bimmer, why? because of one thing "The Ultimate Driving Experience"
My Ride:
523i Steptronic, Silver Grey Exterior, Black Interior with Black Dakota Leather and Maple Wood Trim. Chrome Grill, Style 123 rim, Airbags everywhere, PDC, Rain sensor, Auto lights, Moveable front armrest, Advance Climate Control, Glass Sunroof, Auto dimming interior and exterior mirror with foldable functions, Extended Lights package, 6 CD changer in glove box, Power seats with memory, Power adjustable steering wheel, Power rear sunblinds.
Add ons: 123 wheels, chrome grill, K&N Hi flow filter, Eibach Pro Kit, e60.net decal and 24,000km
Past rides:
2001 Nissan Xterra SE
1999 E39 523i
1999 E46 323i
1996 Acura Integra LS
Good laugh though.
Wow some people are very capable...so much time on those hands...
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