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Old Apr 8, 2005 | 01:25 PM
  #1  
BMW530's Avatar
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From: UK
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HUMAN RESOURCE DICTIONARY

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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Old Apr 8, 2005 | 01:27 PM
  #2  
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From: Dublin, Eire
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
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Old Apr 8, 2005 | 01:30 PM
  #3  
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Posts: 18,253
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From: FL
My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
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Old Apr 10, 2005 | 09:05 PM
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From: USA
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Old Apr 10, 2005 | 09:06 PM
  #5  
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Joined: Oct 2004
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From: Singapore
My Ride: 530iA Silver Grey , black interior. Premium Package, Navigation System, Head-up Display, Radio Satellite, Adaptive Xenon Headlights. AC Schnitzer Front Lip, H&R springs, Rear red reflector, All season Floor mat,
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