20 Reasons she'll cheat on you...
09-28-2005, 03:57 PM
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1. Because she hasn?t sown her wild oats.
Congratulations for catching her back when she was in her virginal bliss. But now she?s wondering what she missed, so she wants to test her motor oil?with someone else?s dipstick.
2. Because you don?t listen.
While you yawn and glaze over as she yaps on about her day, that guy she met at the gym is laughing at her puns, paying rapt attention to her work skirmishes and mother issues, and remembering her birthday.
3. Because her best friend is a cheating tramp.
It?s hard to stay on the sidelines when your best pal is playing the field. And chances are, the bit her buddy is getting on the side has a handsome friend who?d love to meet your honey.
4. Because you treat her like your little sister.
Mussing her hair as if she?s 10 years old and calling her Shorty doesn?t help her feel like the live-action Jessica Rabbit she yearns to be. Yeah, it?s great the two of you get along like Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld. But if you don?t stroke her hair, hold her hand, and make her feel some passion, she?s going to look elsewhere for validation of her sensuality.
5. Because you treat her like a sex toy.
On the other hand, if all she thinks you want her for is her body, she?s going to look elsewhere for confirmation that her thoughts on the crisis in East Timor really matter, even if she?s espousing them with her ankles around her ears.
6. Because your favorite couple just split up.
The great pair you always double with to ball games and the movies just moved to Splitsville. Now your squeeze is enviously watching her fellow female flex her sexual freedom?and is getting ideas that involve more than routine shagging with you.
7. Because she?s upset about turning 25 (or 30 or 35).
And she wants to recapture her wild-child past by coming on to guys like it?s homecoming weekend at the frat house once again. (It may seem cool when she comes home with a keg tapper, but be afraid?be very afraid.) Birthdays can be stressful events, and she may feel it?s time to reevaluate her relationships.
8. Because that new guy at work is so attentive.
You can?t know the daily traumas she faces at work, and you can?t bat around the corporate jargon she speaks from nine to whenever. But that guy at the office, the one she has a flirty friendship with, understands exactly where she?s coming from. No wonder she?s been working late.
9. Because she?s depressed.
You?ve tried everything to lift her spirits?to no avail. Kudos to you, but she may just try to pick herself up by getting herself picked up. Which won?t be hard. Women with low self-esteem are magnets for men: We come across as vulnerable. Read: easy.
10. Because she wants you to make a commitment.
She wants to leap over a relationship hurdle (shacking up, getting an engagement rock), and you?ve been dragging your feet for so long that all she can smell is burned Nike rubber. So she?s straddling her tennis coach so you?ll stop straddling the fence.
11. Because she?s got unfinished business with her ex.
And he?s recently started cropping up in a ?we?re just friends?we?re just having lunch? type of way. Translation: ?We?re way more than friends?we?re having each other for lunch.? If she never really put closure on her last relationship, there?s always a chance she?ll sneak back to resolve things once (or twice) and for all.
12. Because you?re just too damned cocky.
You think you?re the greatest thing since seedless watermelon, and as far as you?re concerned, she?s lucky to have you! Well, while you?re busy convincing her that the Dunkin? Donuts cashier has a crush on you, she?s found a sure way to bring your ego down a notch.
13. Because she wants to live in the land of grownups.
You?re charming and funny in a frat-boy way, still wearing flannel shirts and eating Crunchberries out of the box. Great, but she?s ready to evolve and wants to find some guy named Blaine or Jean-Luc who understands her need for a $65 dish drainer from the MoMA bookstore.
14. Because you?ve stopped trying in bed.
But in her slightly repressed little heart, she fears asking you for something new, because it implies she hasn?t been enjoying your basic boinking thus far. Her rationale: Better to go wild with a random sex-machine boy and help you keep your self-respect.
15. Because you had a huge row.
After a blowout battle, she concludes, much like Ross on Friends, that you two are on a ?break? and it?s legal for her to drink a lake of liquor and give blow jobs to a local intramural basketball team, who, she?s pleased to discover, appreciate her much more than you do.
16. Because she?s bored and wants to try a new flavor.
Look, women like variety, too. No, you can?t be a soap star/lumberjack/New Age author all in one, but you can say yes when, out of the blue, she asks you to accompany her rock climbing or day trading, or to a yoga class.
17. Because she wants to have it out with you.
You?ve had exasperating arguments about the same topic?money, kids, the hairball you won?t clean out of the drain?for so long that now she wants to passive-aggressively pick a real fight. And what better way to piss you off than to play weigh-my-package with the UPS guy?
18. Because she wants out.
Deep down inside she wants to call it quits, but she doesn?t have the babe-balls to give you the ax. Cheating on you is a way of breaking up without her having to do the heavy lifting. She just wants to hear the slamming door while she?s doing it doggy style with the delivery boy.
19. Because you flirt with everything that walks.
You?ve ogled so many other babes? hot pants and tube tops that she feels as if her body is second-team, so she?s going to seek out a self-esteem-bolstering sex buddy who swears she?s his first-string fantasy girl.
20. Because you pay her too much attention.
No, you can?t win. You bring her flowers, you write her notes, you listen intently to even the most agonizing retelling of last night?s Lifetime movie. Then you come home one day to find the gardener showing her how he likes to use a hoe. What happened?
21. She's a b!atch...
Congratulations for catching her back when she was in her virginal bliss. But now she?s wondering what she missed, so she wants to test her motor oil?with someone else?s dipstick.
2. Because you don?t listen.
While you yawn and glaze over as she yaps on about her day, that guy she met at the gym is laughing at her puns, paying rapt attention to her work skirmishes and mother issues, and remembering her birthday.
3. Because her best friend is a cheating tramp.
It?s hard to stay on the sidelines when your best pal is playing the field. And chances are, the bit her buddy is getting on the side has a handsome friend who?d love to meet your honey.
4. Because you treat her like your little sister.
Mussing her hair as if she?s 10 years old and calling her Shorty doesn?t help her feel like the live-action Jessica Rabbit she yearns to be. Yeah, it?s great the two of you get along like Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld. But if you don?t stroke her hair, hold her hand, and make her feel some passion, she?s going to look elsewhere for validation of her sensuality.
5. Because you treat her like a sex toy.
On the other hand, if all she thinks you want her for is her body, she?s going to look elsewhere for confirmation that her thoughts on the crisis in East Timor really matter, even if she?s espousing them with her ankles around her ears.
6. Because your favorite couple just split up.
The great pair you always double with to ball games and the movies just moved to Splitsville. Now your squeeze is enviously watching her fellow female flex her sexual freedom?and is getting ideas that involve more than routine shagging with you.
7. Because she?s upset about turning 25 (or 30 or 35).
And she wants to recapture her wild-child past by coming on to guys like it?s homecoming weekend at the frat house once again. (It may seem cool when she comes home with a keg tapper, but be afraid?be very afraid.) Birthdays can be stressful events, and she may feel it?s time to reevaluate her relationships.
8. Because that new guy at work is so attentive.
You can?t know the daily traumas she faces at work, and you can?t bat around the corporate jargon she speaks from nine to whenever. But that guy at the office, the one she has a flirty friendship with, understands exactly where she?s coming from. No wonder she?s been working late.
9. Because she?s depressed.
You?ve tried everything to lift her spirits?to no avail. Kudos to you, but she may just try to pick herself up by getting herself picked up. Which won?t be hard. Women with low self-esteem are magnets for men: We come across as vulnerable. Read: easy.
10. Because she wants you to make a commitment.
She wants to leap over a relationship hurdle (shacking up, getting an engagement rock), and you?ve been dragging your feet for so long that all she can smell is burned Nike rubber. So she?s straddling her tennis coach so you?ll stop straddling the fence.
11. Because she?s got unfinished business with her ex.
And he?s recently started cropping up in a ?we?re just friends?we?re just having lunch? type of way. Translation: ?We?re way more than friends?we?re having each other for lunch.? If she never really put closure on her last relationship, there?s always a chance she?ll sneak back to resolve things once (or twice) and for all.
12. Because you?re just too damned cocky.
You think you?re the greatest thing since seedless watermelon, and as far as you?re concerned, she?s lucky to have you! Well, while you?re busy convincing her that the Dunkin? Donuts cashier has a crush on you, she?s found a sure way to bring your ego down a notch.
13. Because she wants to live in the land of grownups.
You?re charming and funny in a frat-boy way, still wearing flannel shirts and eating Crunchberries out of the box. Great, but she?s ready to evolve and wants to find some guy named Blaine or Jean-Luc who understands her need for a $65 dish drainer from the MoMA bookstore.
14. Because you?ve stopped trying in bed.
But in her slightly repressed little heart, she fears asking you for something new, because it implies she hasn?t been enjoying your basic boinking thus far. Her rationale: Better to go wild with a random sex-machine boy and help you keep your self-respect.
15. Because you had a huge row.
After a blowout battle, she concludes, much like Ross on Friends, that you two are on a ?break? and it?s legal for her to drink a lake of liquor and give blow jobs to a local intramural basketball team, who, she?s pleased to discover, appreciate her much more than you do.
16. Because she?s bored and wants to try a new flavor.
Look, women like variety, too. No, you can?t be a soap star/lumberjack/New Age author all in one, but you can say yes when, out of the blue, she asks you to accompany her rock climbing or day trading, or to a yoga class.
17. Because she wants to have it out with you.
You?ve had exasperating arguments about the same topic?money, kids, the hairball you won?t clean out of the drain?for so long that now she wants to passive-aggressively pick a real fight. And what better way to piss you off than to play weigh-my-package with the UPS guy?
18. Because she wants out.
Deep down inside she wants to call it quits, but she doesn?t have the babe-balls to give you the ax. Cheating on you is a way of breaking up without her having to do the heavy lifting. She just wants to hear the slamming door while she?s doing it doggy style with the delivery boy.
19. Because you flirt with everything that walks.
You?ve ogled so many other babes? hot pants and tube tops that she feels as if her body is second-team, so she?s going to seek out a self-esteem-bolstering sex buddy who swears she?s his first-string fantasy girl.
20. Because you pay her too much attention.
No, you can?t win. You bring her flowers, you write her notes, you listen intently to even the most agonizing retelling of last night?s Lifetime movie. Then you come home one day to find the gardener showing her how he likes to use a hoe. What happened?
21. She's a b!atch...
09-30-2005, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Simple1' date='Sep 29 2005, 10:37 PM
I'm just wondering why have you posted this? hope you haven't gone through any of this
[snapback]177293[/snapback]
Hope it doesn't happen but you never know...
10-05-2005, 06:42 AM
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My Ride: '06 530i -6speed - Comfort Seats - Premium Package - Premium Sound Package - Cold Weather Package - Ventilated Seats - Xenon -HUD - PDC - Nav
you know what ... if she cheats on you ... just post or email this picture for her to see ;-)
