Well, even here in Wellington, New Zealand with population of only 400,000 people we have parking morons.

Before every trip out I and my wife will analyse the parking threat level to determine whether the E60 or E36 gets driven.

Me: "Is parking there gonna be dodgy?"
Wife: "Yup"
Me: "Take the dodgy car?" - well it's old and has dents but still going strong
Wife: "Yup, take the dodgy car"