Topless Spy Shots? No. Shirtless & Horrifying? Yes … Unfortunately
When sales of the next-gen BMW 7 Series commence in 2016, could we see a return of the good old days? These spy shots lean toward a more-preferred “yes” answer. The E38 7 Series was the last great generation of 7 Series before Chris Bangle came in and ruined everything. I cherish the memories before the days of Chris Bangle. Those were the days when you could still see the Sun shining in the sky, and you could be uplifted by the sounds of children’s laughter. Since Bangle, Earth has been a dark, dreary place sodden with the silence of discontentment.
OK, so things got better in 2008 with the current F01/F02-generation 7 Series, but with a curb weight that ranges from 4,300 to 5,000 pounds, driving enjoyment has been compromised as the 7er has fallen victim to the automotive weight gain epidemic.
From what our spy photographers are telling us, however, the glory days may return when sales of the next 7 Series commence in 2016. BMW has been working hard to reduce the next 7 Series’ curb weight by almost 600 pounds. That’s really exciting if you believe that, but I don’t. The next (S550-gen) Mustang was supposed to be 200 pounds lighter than the current S-197-generation Mustang, but it ended up being 25 pounds heavier. By that logic, if BMW is promising a 600-lb. weight reduction, I’m expecting to see an actual weight reduction of 60 lbs. Yes, the next 7-Series will use less steel and more aluminum and carbon fiber in its construction, but I’ve endured too many lies, so I remain skeptical.
My skepticism leaves me upon hearing that this 7 will use ZF’s nine-speed automatic transmission. Chrysler has been having some trouble with this transmission’s programming, but I think that will all be ironed out before the new 7 Series hits dealerships.
Peruse the gallery below for a peak at what hopefully is a very light 7 Series, but fair warning: the middle shot in the bottom row has a lot of shirtless middle-aged man in it. It’s quite horrifying, really, so you might want to skip over that one.
