Kiasu King

Sex drive

German study shows Porsche drivers lack the vrooom and BMW drivers go zoom-zoom. Is there a lesson for Singapore in this?

By Christopher Tan

STOP PRESS. Men who drive BMWs have the highest libidos, while Porsche drivers have the least inclination for a roll in the sack.

In yet another quest for information we don't need but want, German car magazine Men's Car published a survey in its May issue that linked sex drive to the cars you drive.

In its poll of 2,253 motorists, it found that male Beemer drivers have it on 2.2 times each week, while Porsche drivers let it rip only 1.4 times per week.

The other findings include Audi drivers (2.1 times), Volkswagen (1.9), Ford (1.7) and Mercedes-Benz (1.6).

Drivers of non-German makes were categorised too.

Men who own Italian cars do it exactly twice a week, French (1.9), Japanese (1.8) and Swedish (1.6).

Those who drive Korean cars go horizontal 1.5 times a week - still more than Porsche drivers.

Among women, those who drove French cars were top with 2.1 times per week followed by Audi (2.0), Italian (2.0) and BMW (1.9), with Porsche again at the bottom of the scale at 1.2 times per week.

There are a few conclusions you can draw from the discovery; but before we go into that, here's to the babes in the Peugeots: Ride on.

Now back to the issue at hand.

Conclusion No.1: Beemer males tend to be younger, and are therefore naturally more frisky. In fact, the brand has been known to attract lots of yuppies and yuppy-wannabes - in Asia, at least.

Conversely, the chap who can afford a Porsche will be more successful and, generally, older. As a purportedly Scottish saying goes, the tilt on your kilt depends on when you were built.

That would support the findings of Merc drivers and those who prefer to go Swedish. But it doesn't explain why Hyundai drivers fare as dismally as Porsche men.

Conclusion No. 2: The Porsche drivers lied. Revealing how many times you partake of bedroom billiards is at best a sensitive subject.

This is why. If say, you are among the privileged few who own a 911 Turbo, people know who you are. More crucially, your wife knows who you are.

If you say you have it on three times a week, and it doesn't correspond with what she has tallied up in her mental diary, you better have a better excuse than 'but honey, you fell asleep'.

But the conclusion that's most relevant to us here in Singapore is this: Car owners have more sex. According to condom maker Durex's sex poll, Singaporeans do it only 96 times a year - or 1.7 times a week. If the survey excluded people too young to own a car but have sexual staminas of rabbits, the national figure would surely have been even lower.

The drivers in Men's Car clock an average 1.8 times a week. Those who drive BMWs are found to be far more active than those who drive, say, Mercedeses.

For whoopie-challenged Singapore, it serves us well to pay heed to the statistics.

Car ownership in Singapore is low, compared with other developed countries. Only one in nine residents owns a set of wheels. And among those who do own cars, a disturbingly high percentage own Mercedes-Benzes. In fact, that is the most populous European brand here, outnumbering BMW two to one.

Could this be why our sex drive is lacklustre? Perhaps.

In Hungary, for instance, one in four residents owns a car. And the last time Durex checked, Hungarians are the world's randiest, making love 2.8 times a week.

So if we want to shed our frigid image, we need more COEs. Preferably, special-rate COEs for cars like BMWs and Audis. The Government will do well to set up a Remaking Out Singapore committee to study the feasibility.

While admittedly one thing doesn't necessarily lead to another, maybe having more COEs will also help us have more babies. It's worth a shot.

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German magazine Men's Car polled 2,253 motorists on sex and the car they drive. Here's how the male drivers responded:

BMW: 2.2 times a week

Audi: 2.1 times a week

Volkswagen: 1.9 times a week

Ford: 1.7 times a week

Mercedes-Benz: 1.6 times a week

Porsche: 1.4 times a week